dreams

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Allahumma solli ala muhammad. wa ala alihi wasahbihi wabarik wasallim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Alhamdulillah. There's a pushy feeling in my heart, encouraging me to write. May this blog entry be a benefit to my fellow readers. AllahummaAmiin.

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. Astaghfirullah min kulli zanbin.

Today I felt a nikmat which I always forget. Astaghfirullahalazhim. It is the nikmat of being grateful. N why is it a nikmat? Allahu Allah.. when I feel grateful.. I feel like smiling... like crying out of happiness.. I feel so loved by Allah. but Allahu Allah.. such a big nikmat.. for me who is not much of a good slave. Allah..

I have these dreams. I dream of becoming someone who has fallen deeply, deeply, DEEPLY, in love with Allah SWT and Rasulullah saw.. Looking into each and every event in life not just through my pair of eyes, but also through my heart. Always eager to show my love towards Rasulullah saw not only with words but with amal which he s.a.w. thought us. It could be just as simple as being cheerful with friends.

I dream of waking up every night.. Performing prayers to my one and only god, Allah the Most Greatful. Making du'a, shedding tears in the silence of night, not because of the strong aroma of the onion but to cry tears of fear towards Allah, hoping for his forgiveness.

I dream of being worried and afraid at times when guys keep mentioning my name, and when I'm am always in the centre of attention, not because I am at fault towards them, not because they are scarily lurking towards me.. but because of the feeling of guilt towards Allah whenever guys get so fanatic over me, and when my name is repeatedly mentioned. Why? Allahu'alam. Because of beauty? because I'm a girl? ..the guilt when I fail in handling whatever Allah lends me with from fitnah towards my beloved deen. Let me shed tears over this situation in fear of inviting the wrath (kemurkaan) of Allah. Oh Allah..

I dream of becoming someone so reminded by death and what follows it. So aware of the time passing by.. Not giving a single second to waste from asking Allah's forgiveness. So busy in striving for Allah's redha that I dont have the time to attend to my worldly desires. Allahu Allah.

But then.. I'm not saying that I am this kind of person. Allah.. Those are my dreams which are not a part of me YET. A dream which I'm sharing with you so tht you can dream too!

Dreams biiznillah can be a reality. The question is how much we strive for it. WAllahualam.

May Allah accept our efforts and set our heart straight in striving for His redha. AllahummaAmiinX3

Bridges.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Alhamdulillah, Allah has given me another chance to write another post.

Bridges eyh? Well before I start sharing anything which has to do with bridges. Let me first share with u somethg that I read from iluvislam.com : "A women's heart should be so lost in God, that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her."

Wow!! So cool eyh? I wish I have such heart. But hey! What does this has anythg to do with bridges.

Well.. The bridges are part of my imagination. Just imagine!!

~there are two parts of the world. U r in 1 part. N the guys, they are at the other part. what's connecting u with the guys, enabling them to approach u.. is a bridge. The bridge is so high tht they have to climb many stairs just to get to there, then only they can cross it. get it?

Ok. so.. the topic is "Bridges". Not "Bridge". So there's got to be more.. Rite?? As we can see.. there are many ways a girl like myself can allow herself to be approached by guys, which I think u can think of urself. So.. no need to explain abt it rite? ok.. when we initiate ways to connect with those guys. We are actually putting ourself so low, tht it seems much much easier to interact with them. It's like building a bridge which doesnt require 'the climb'. Guys easily approaches us. Well, why use the high bridge when they have the low bridge up ahead of them? Interaction between u and those guys is made easy. But do u really want it this way? Without 'the climb'? They say.. it's all abt 'the climb'. But why do we need 'the climb'?

Lets repeat this again: "A women's heart should be so lost in God, that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her."

The climb is actually the effort that the man/guy puts to seek Allah. Allah The All-Mighty is so high, tht's why the bridge is high. Get it?

Ok.. So we muslimahs should put ourselves high too. We must reach Allah. We ourselves must get to the bridge and wait for our very own Muslim prince. Even if u see a nice prince approaching u.. dont go n build such low bridges. Let ur Muslim prince get to u by climbing the stairs. Why is it important again? It's all abt striving for Allah's redha. We dont want it simple because we want Allah's redha. Ok, did I say we want Allah's redha. I should correct myself. We need Allah's redha.

Allahu Allahu Allah.

sabda Rasulullah saw:

"If u only knew what I know, hence u would laugh less and cry more."

Lets us together muhasabah, reflect ourselves. for I too have to remind myself over and over again. Mistakes over mistakes. I am juz a normal person. But deep in my heart, I know how difficult this mission is. so, lets not give ok!! WAllahualam.

Can I write?

I am in the mood of writing a sad story. But I doubt tht it will be of anyone's interest because there are no plots or whatsoever. but still.. Shall I continue?

This a story abt a girl who fell and fell and fell. u think this girl would get up again and move on with her life? hmm.. think again. the fall she went through was not juz a fall. it is a fall which gave such pain, not only to her limbs, but also her heart. heartbroken eyh? hmm.. hard to say. u must be wondering what happened to her, how did the heart got broken? n why did the fall occurs over and over again. it is herself tht u should look into. the reason is her. why? because she kept putting herself into the same situation. she allowed herself to be hurt. in which way? well, does it matters? yes? no?

This story reveals on how she brought herself back to her own feet. how she gathered her courage to look over the past. how she continued her life full-spirited, motivated. how?? let me tell u a bit of her story.

Every morning she woke up with the memory of her past. how she wished tht she had not fall so many times. to get up from her bed is to begin a new day. even when the sun did shine.. she felt all gloomy and dark inside. she could cry all day long if her eyes dont get sore. it is true how one gets so depressed, one drags itself here and there like a zombie. so lifeless.. so empty. yes. empty. dark and empty.

days were full of regret. but regret does not allow one to turn back the time. what's done is done. tht's it! so.. how? she knows the pain and sorrow she's going through, of course. n it struck her how horrible her current situation was. the girl did not want the rest of her life wasted just like tht. no. she hated being her zombie self.

there's this voice inside her, saying things. nice things. sweet things. one which gave her hope. n trying to grab her, to protect her from such a disastrous end. is it herself? is it her 'iman'. WAllahualam.

the voice spoke of life: "Life is a chance. do not waste this chance. nothing assures tht u will always get this chance. so grab it while u can before ur life comes to an end. to smile or not to smile.. it is ur choice. question urself, r u grateful to Allah, ur one and only god? r u?? because life.. it is made up of choices."

hah!!the girl was reminded of some words from a very honorable friend: "If we believe tht everythg in our life is part of Allah's arrangement, we would surely feel the nikmat of being Allah's slave. We don't need to erase it. Keep it neat n tidy in our heart so tht it becomes a reminder for us."

clear isnt it, how big the word redha is. and how the absence of redha was very obvious in herself. she once learnt tht redha = not a single to nag/complain/grumble. yeah. somewhat like that. and the element of gratefulness. where is it? is it there? I doubt it. tht was the missing element. one she should not run out of. one she could restore in herself by juz forcing a sincere smile with her lips singing Alhamdulillah.

the girl took her time to muhasabah. to allow the tarbiyyah she's going through. She knew how humans should allow Allah to touch their hearts. the heart. it is a special thing really. sadly.. it was broken. but guess what? Allah created the heart. dont u think tht Allah can cure it? of course. Allah, the creator of her tiny heart can easily renew her heart. but of course, Allah knows better of what to do with her heart. so the girl decided to hand the heart to Allah. She asked Allah to give her the strength to move on, for she could never move forward if it isnt for Allah and Allah's blessings. so what's next. The return to Allah. hopefully.

The end.

what a weird story eyh? y write such stories?

Because to bring urself forward, to me, is not an easy thing. to pull urself together after many falls can be so difficult tht u juz wanna give up. we can look back in the past and cry all of our tears but what's the use? yesterday is no longer ours. yesterday was juz yesterday. no change can be made. disappointment. tht's how I feel. disappointed of myself for being the person i was/ i am. but the only question left is.. Am I still gonna disappoint myself?

PS: the only thing the girl did and still doing is muhasabah. does it work? is she gonna survive? can she live full-spirited, motivated? WAllahualam.

May this story be one that encourages us to be better. Sry if it is juz a waste of ur time. I juz wanted to write something. I suppose this is something eyh?

Haunted!

Assalamualaikum wbt. Dear readers. This short post is one which was inspired by a recent conversation between me and a sis who I very much love, adore and respect. May Allah bless her. AllahummaAmiin.

Me: Hmm.. I sometimes feel like erasing my past. But sadly, we're unable to do so.

Her: Allah.. InsyaAllah. If we believe tht everythg in our life is part of Allah's arrangement, we would surely feel the nikmat of being Allah's slave. We don't need to erase it. Keep it neat n tidy in our heart so tht it becomes a reminder for us.

Me: aww.. so sad..

Her: Don't be sad. InsyaAllah. When we want to do good, Allah is surely with us.

Me: Sometimes I feel tht I'm unable to change myself into being a better person. It's so difficult.

Her: InsyaAllah. We have to be optimists. Slowly. Not drastically. Tawakal but don't forget to put some efforts. Put some efforts but don't forget to doa(pray). "Man jada wajada, man zar'a hasoda"

Many of u may have the same problem as me. Haunted by my own past. Trying change, but to change is so difficult! thought once or twice of giving up. but I myself know how giving up is not an option to this problem. Alhamdulillah. I agree with this beloved fren of mine. yes. "We don't need to erase it. Keep it neat n tidy in our heart so tht it becomes a reminder for us." InsyaAllah. Wallahualam.

A Chance.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim.

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. there's somethg tonight tht makes me tip-top n ready to write on "Ordinary Eyh??". So, what's up Lydia? hmm...

My fellow readers, I've been sick lately. to be more precise.. I've been heaving headache for days. but this evening I felt a lot better. Alhamdulillah. the days had been quite dreadful I have to say: my headache worsen when I look at lamps, my laptop, tv, n of course.. I didnt even dare to read any kind of books.. and also as I always do when I get headaches.. I avoided wearing my specs.. difficult to explain my situation, but laying down on the bed didnt make me feel better. I juz hoped tht time flies so quickly tht maghrib comes n I can actually distract myself with food n take up some medicine.

Now why in the world did I tell u all of these?? to get ur attention? to complain? nope. nauzubillahiminzalik.

juz to share with u.. the dreadful days made me sigh the big sigh which says, "Why Allah, do u give me such sickness?? now I cant do anythg. I so wanna distract myself from all of these.. but I cant even watch the tv!!" Allahu Allahu Allah. Ok. I know how bad this is. to sigh. to complain. to not be a grateful person. Astaghfirullah.

but this evening things changed. Now I feel so fresh n my mind.. its clear. Alhamdulillah. N I thought.. "Lydia.. If u dont use this chance... the chance will be wasted. N guess what? there's no doubt tht the sickness will come back.. maybe tomorrow, maybe in a couple of hours.. come on Lydia, come on! This might be ur one and only chance. U hv not been a grateful person. The least u could do is to strive for it now. InsyaAllah." Come friends. being sick.. there's not much tht u can do. I'm serious. Lets make use of what we have. Lets be grateful to Allah. InsyaAllah. Alhamdulillahirabbilalamiin.

the unclear..

Assalamualaikum wbt. hey, every1. It's been quite a while eyh.. Sorry.. I've been thinking lately. I've been thinking a lot. U see.. lately, I've been asking myself on my standings (I mean, 'pendirian'). I saw how my understanding differs from what some of my friends'. N so.. I was desperately seeking for a solution to the confusion I was having. I asked a couple of close frenz abt their opinion since I believe tht I am not tht alim to be making my own hypothesis. hence, these frenz whom I trust are better than me gave me some ideas which eases my confusion. I'm not planning on telling u what I was confused of. Instead.. I would like to share with u what I figured out. So, r u ready to listen/read/pay attention to what's up next on Ordinary Eyh? haha.. but dont get ur hopes up high. It's juz a short resolution to my confusion. Here it goes..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim. u know when there are different people giving different opinions on somethg? yeah.. I was so confused on who to follow, who to trust. to trust only myself.. tht would be so wrong. I mean... who am I?? I know who I am. I am a person with nothing but weaknesses. what I now is far too itsy bitsy tiny weenie from what Allah knows. meaning... I dont know much.

But from what I understand... Islam is a complete 'deen'. I believe tht everthg is chained up together. N so.. If I am really really ikhlas in finding the truth, really really ikhlas in all of my doings.. I trust Allah. And I trust that Allah will show me the way. since everythg is chained up together... I believe tht once I got hold of part of the truth biiznillah (with Allah's permission), I will get hold of the rest too! insyaAllah. n the truth will be revealed. InsyaAllah. wAllahualam. get what I mean?? sometimes I desperately hope tht the unclear becomes clear. but now.. I think waiting is a considerable option. juz focus on being some1 ikhlas insyaAllah. N tht is my standing!! (so far.. haha..) wAllahualam. Allah knows, i dont..

Can I cry?

There were 2 events lately.. tht put me far from cloud 9. I planned on sumthg. but Allah gave me a no. N so, I put up another plan. but it seems like the answer is still no. AllahuAllahuAllahuAllah. What does this mean Ya Allah. I juz.. I juz wanna cry.. in hope tht the cry will make my heart feels better. Ya Allah, Ya Wahidul Ahad.

Bismillah Hir Rahman Nir Rahiim.

Allahumma solli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala ali saidina Muhammad.

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Allahumma solli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala ali saidina Muhammad.

Alhamdulillah. I feel better already. Thank u Allah. =)

PS: Meaning of AL-BAQI - (tidak akan musnah krn Dialah Yang Maha Kekal)

(Baca Ya Baqi 1000 kali ketika dlm kesedihan, insyaAllah perasaan itu akn hilang) WAllahualam.

Kafir

I was attending my first uskab (usrah kabilah) juz now.. It was short but very meaningful. Let me share it with u...

We did tadabbur on surah al-Kahfi (100-110). Come my fellow muslims, open up ur quran right now!!

hmm... at first we talked abt Jahannam. ok. so, jahannam is such a big horror word for those who actually realize it. I mean.. u couldnt even imagine such horror, such torture, terrible, terrible torture in that place. For who??? for those who are kafir. Nauzubillahiminzalik.

We learned the characteristics of the kafir. I rmber these 3 points.

1) The kafir have closed eyes and the kafir doesnt listen. Ok. What does this mean? From what I understand.. the kafir doesnt wanna accept the truth of Islam. He refuses to look at the greatness of Allah and refuses to listen to the rightful truth.

2) The kafir takes shelter from other than Allah. Example. to depend on other than Allah. when we get sick, straight to the doctor's. not to Allah. The doctor gives u recovery or Allah recovers u? Think2!! Allah of course!! the visit to the doctor's is only ur effort to heal urself. when the healing happens only biiznillah.

3) The kafir does good. charity for example. but what he does was such a wastage. maybe bacause he hopes for the respect of others or for compliments. Such a waste!! he thinks tht he does good, when Allah does not count those charity since it was not LILLAHITAALA. juz doing it for urself to get the credits is a NOkie dokie!

y is this so meaningful 2 me? because Allah is really conversating with me.

I know tht Allah gives the best for me in all situation. It's as if Allah is asking me.. Is it so difficult to accept tht Allah knows what's best for u??

I plan and plan and plan.. but Allah is the best planner. It's as if Allah is asking me.. Is it so difficult to put ur trust in Allah??

I know how important the niat is and how we humans have to deal with distractions in order to protect our niat LILLAHITAALA. yes. It's as if Allah is asking me.. What exactly do u want out of all of ur doings?? What do u want Lydia??

Oh Allah. I dont want to be kafir. I dont. nauzubillahiminzalik.

Oh Allah! Hear my du'a..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim.

Ya Allah, jgnlah Engkau biarkan pd diri kami ini dosa, kecuali Engkau telah ampuni akan dia, dan tidak ada kesusahan kecuali Engkau leraikan, tidak ada yg brhutang kecuali Engkau tolong langsaikan, tidak ada sakit kecuali Engkau sembuhkan dia, dan tidak ada kesesakan kecuali Engkau beri kesejahteraan akan dia, dan tidak ada org yg sesat kecuali Engkau beri petunjuk akan dia, tidak ada org yg susah kecuali Engkau permudahkan dia, tidak ada org yg fakir kecuali Engkau beri kekayaan akan dia, dan tidak ada org yg memohon kecuali Engkau tunaikan dia, dan tidak ada yg jauh, kecuali Engkau hampirkan dia, dan tidak ada musuh kecuali Engkau binasakan dia, tidak ada org yg berjihad kecuali Engkau menolongnya, tidak ada org yg bujang kecuali Engkau kahwinkan dia, tidak ada hajat drp hajat2 dunia dan akhirat yg Engkau redhai pdnya dan ad kebaikan bg kami, kecuali Engkau tunaikan dia, dan permudahkan dia wahai Tuhan Yg memelihara dan mentadbirkan sekalian alam.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, kurniakan kami rahmat dari sisiMu, dan berilah petunjuk kpd kami dlm urusan kami dgn sgala petunjuk, Mudahkanlah urusan kami ya Allah, permudahkanlah jgn disulitkan krn Engkaulah yg Maha Memudahkan, segala yg susah adalah mudah bagiMu, ya Allah, sempurnakanlah dgn segala kebaikan, dgn rahmatMu, Ya Allah wahai Yang Paling Mengasihani drp segala yg mengasihani.

Ya Allah kuatkanlah iman kami, satukan saf-saf kami, dan kumpulkan hati2 kami di atas kecintaan kpdMu, Ya Allah Ya Karim. Kasihanilah kami Ya Allah, Kasihanilah kami Ya Rahim, Mudahkan urusan kami dan luaskan rezeki kami, dgn rahmatMu Ya Allah wahai Yang Paling Mengasihani drp segala yg mengasihani.

Ya Allah sesungguhnya Engkau mengetahui yg nampak dan yg rahsia dr kami maka terimalah keampunan kami, dan Engkau mengetahui hajat2 kami maka tunaikanlah hajat2 kami.

Ya Allah sesungguhnya Engkau mengetahui yg nampak dan yg rahsia dr kami maka terimalah keampunan kami, dan Engkau mengetahui hajat2 kami maka tunaikanlah hajat2 kami.

Ya Allah sesungguhnya Engkau mengetahui yg nampak dan yg rahsia dr kami maka terimalah keampunan kami, dan Engkau mengetahui hajat2 kami maka tunaikanlah hajat2 kami, Ya Karim Ya Allah wahai Yang Paling Mengasihani drp segala yg mengasihani.

Allahumma Amiin. Allahumma Amiin. Allahumma Amiin.

Selawat atas junjungan kami Rasulullah saw.

Walhamdulillahirabbilalamiin.

K.I.D.S.

Kids. observe them. Many things can be learnt from them. For example. I went to this one place. A place where the young ones spend their time learning how to read the quran n memorizing it also. So.. I saw these small children. U know how their life goes? If they go to school in the evening, they spend the whole morning learning the quran. N of course, if they go to school in the morning, they spend the whole evening at tht place. Some say tht they have no life. U think its torturing them?? Well, here's my story.

I was sitting at the side observing a couple of kids. There ware a brother n a sister. Still young. (I asked the small girl and she said tht she was only 8) So.. these small kids memorized some surahs from juz amma. impressing I say! looking at the only-8-year old girl. totally not juz a pretty n adorable face. tht is somethg to be impressed of. Alhamdulillah.

U wanna know more?? these 2 kids really enjoyed their time over there. they showed joyful faces full of spirit, eager to memorize more and more. Even in the arabic language class.. they were so eager to learn. I remembered this 1 phrase introduces to me by one of my beloved fren. It goes like this. hikmatu syuyukh wa hamasatu syabab. It means: wisdom of the elders and spirit of the young people. These 2 composition makes a great missionary (pendakwah).

so.. dont look down towards kids!! they are young and pure-minded. I say there's something in them if u juz take ur time n observe. InsyaAllah. WAllahualam.

Redha

I hv this 1 fren... A beloved neighbour, I can say. she has this 1 small board where she writes some daily reminders for herself. In 1 of my regular visits to her room, I saw a statement tht she wrote. It goes somewhat like this. Redha - not a single nag/complain/grumble tht appeared in the heart. ok. so, redha is clearly a BIG thing.

let me give u an example. an incident happened. this incident may be expected or unexpected. but what's sure is, it is not what ur heart pleases. ok. so, to be some1 redha towards this incident is to accept it well. not a single to complain/nag/grumble. yea. so, got the view?

Fighting has been prescribed for you, but it is of dislike to you. And it may be that you dislike something while it is good for you; and it may be that you love something while it is bad for you. And Allah knows while you do not know. (Surah Al-Baqarah: 216)

(Kamu diwajibkan berperang, sedang peperangan itu ialah perkara yang kamu benci dan boleh jadi kamu benci kepada sesuatu padahal ia baik bagi kamu, dan boleh jadi kamu suka kepada sesuatu padahal ia buruk bagi kamu. Dan, Allah jualah Yang Mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahuinya.)


how in the world can we be some1 who is redha?? my opinion: it is important to remember tht Allah the All-Knowing knows whats best for us. Allah knows, n we dont. Juz because our heart pleases something doesnt mean tht it is good for us, for our da'wah, our life, our future and our end. no it does not. We are juz slaves of Allah with limited knowledge. There are much much much more 'ilmu which are beyond the limit. What we know is juz a tiny tiny bit of what Allah knows. WAllahualam. Allah knows what's good 4 us.

This post is kinda reminder for myself. Hope tht it is useful for u guys too. Have patience! =)

Examination.

Waaaaahhhhh......... I miss blogging!!!!!!

To my fellow readers. Sorry 4 being away 4 such a long time. Many times I intended to write new posts but I decided tht exam comes first. Mom said tht it's my responsibility. So gotta focus n everythg...

Alrite then.. So y am I writing right now?? Yup! u guessed it!! (or u didnt... I dont know..) My 1st year exam is over. So now is my chance to share n share n share. Abt what?? well... since this is the fresh topic over here. Let me share with u abt my exam..... Not to tell u what grades tht I got, but to tell u how sweet Allah is. Alhamdulillah.

Ok, abt math. Ohh... how I love math. Hmm... so, what's up with math? Hmm... usually, I was never afraid of exams. But this time. One of my beloved seniors reminded us tht getting excellent results is not everything. Oh she's so right!! What's important is we be grateful to Allah, with whatever tht we have achieved. yeah!!

So, what happened to me?? Well, I was always aiming 4 the highest. It's quite difficult to change my point of view. But the voice inside me said. Hey Lydia! Allah is the All-knowing. Allah knows whats best 4 u.. He knows, n u lydia.. u dont! ok then... my mind started analyzing.. hmm... what if getting a not so excellent result is what's best for me. Can I take tht grade and be grateful when my mind was always set for the highest?? Hmm... can? cannot? can?? cannot??

anw, what I was thinking before the math exam was.. can I handle excellence without riak or ujub? Oh my!! this is dangerous...... I should never ever ever let myself in shirik. So the not scary at all exam. became... yeah, u guessed it eyh?? scary~

Allah was so sweet... Aaawwwww.... let me tell u the story!! The math exam was WOW!!!!! One word. Difficult. Yes it was. No kidding. In 1 question, I got a weird answer. In another, I didnt know the formula. And another question, the idea juz didnt seem to be right. hmm... So what did I do?? I sat there 4 a long time. waiting for the ideas to come.. No ideas?? nope!!

I gathered my courage to get in front of the lecturer, n gave her my masterpiece! I was ready to get a not-so-excellent result. But.... Allah's help came in many ways. The lecturer gave a 'plus' on my weird answer,gave ma a formula tu continue with my solution and gave me a chance to correct my didnt-seem-to-be-right answers. I was given another chance!!!!!!!

Ok2.. y was I given a chance??? Well, I say there's juz 1 answer to tht. Allah has helped me. Alhamdulillahirabbilalamin. in what way is this sweet?? It is sweet because I cn feel tht I got excellent marks not because I am smart, or because of luck. But because of Allah. N tht's how I want to succeed. Not with shirik (riak, ujub). But with Allah by my side. InsyaAllah. I loved the way Allah tested me. Allah gave me such difficulties tht made me feel tht the success was not from me. But from Allah the All-knowing.

R u wondering what I get for other subjects??? Well.. let me tell u abt physics. Physics. So many topics!!!!!!!!!!! I didnt manage to finish with my reading. but when the time came, it is juz it. no delays eyh? hmm.. I was quite afraid. But I know for sure. What's important is to sit for the exam lillahitaala. ikhlas. results was not important. so I went into the battle field. I prepared for the oral exam. when it was time, I moved towards the lecturer.. n sat beside her. then she started questioning. 1st question!! I went blank. 2nd... still thinking abt 1st question, but i tried to answer. n I got it right.. and the exam moved on................. Results?? Not excellent. nope. but.... That's whats best for me!! Alhamdulillah. If tht's what You wanna give me Allah. then thats what I hv to be grateful of. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Thank u Allah!

May all of us take note that whats important is for this battle to be LILLAHITAALA so tht it counts as our jihad. wAllahualam. insyaAllah. amiin.

Muslimah

Salam. hey every1.. I juz came back from moscow.. I learnt a lot in moscow by spending some time with many other sisters from moscow, novgorad, volgograd and kursk, Russia. alhamdulillah. so, I wanna share somethg with u, abt muslimah.

at first i was with my friends, watching the games held in moscow. badminton, futsal, etc. On the way to the badminton hall n on the way back.. I was with two other sniors (girls), but of course the bus seat was two by two. N I was alone since they chose to seat together. of course there were other guys from my team. At first I sat alone, but when a guy came to count the remaining empty seats, I started to worry. I dont want to seat beside any guy strangers!!! so, i wanted to sit with my guy snior who of course, I am familiar with. n so I said, I wanted to sit with him. Of course, he was being polite and allowed me to do so. and of course, we remained silent all the way to the hall. And otw back, I make that similar choice. But now I realized tht it was the wrong choice. Astaghfirullah. Maybe I chose to do so because I felt calm and safe to be seated beside some1 I know. But the fact is, I'm a Muslimah. N must choose to not-to-seat-beside-guys. I should seat alone, coz tht is my choice as a muslimah. but for a guy to come and join me, eventhough I felt uneasy, and totally dislike.. Thts ok, coz thts not my choice, juz somethg that I cant prevent myself from, I cant run from. maybe its what Allah is testing me with. Wallahualam.

then, my beloved naqibah came and picked me up. she brought me to the home of moscow sisters (medic students). I met them, got to know them, etc.. Looking at them, I felt happy and calm, a very nice feeling which is quite difficult to explain. N I said to myself, wow! they are really bringing up their 'muslimah'. I mean.. I can really see 'Muslimah' in them.

the next day, I was supposed to support my friends playing the basketball. I say... they were great!! but what comes after that was the hockey (guys). N I knew that my naqibah (who was with me all along), wanted to go home. but I did not know the exact reason. so, for being a nice guest, I decided to go home too, when she actually gave me a choice to stay. I was happy to be able to support my smtu team, guys n girls. but I hv my priority, which was to be a well-behaved, not-so-lousy guest. but then, my naqibah told me that she chose to go home, also because she has a priority, which was different than mine. huhh? what pripority?? A priority as a muslimah! she said that as a muslimah.. we cant go around following what other people do. we have to interpret the situation, n choose for the better. It struck me, really. but now, I think I got it. U know, I hv some very close non-muslim friends. we always hang out together. but once, they brought me along to the arcade, n I really felt like I didnt belong there. y?? Because I'm a muslimah!! N I was repeatedly asking myself... "What am I doing here???". I guess that was how my naqibah felt. we muslimah have to lower our gaze toward guys, juz like guys have to lower their gaze to girls u know? so, how can we muslimah intentionally look at a group of guys, playing around?? I guess, as a muslimah.. I should not do so, even if I only wanted to support them. Like my naqibah used to say.. we girls give dakwah to girls. tht's our part! whereas guys have their own parts. we dont have to interfere, coz guys n girls.. there is a boundary in between.

Ok! 1 lesson learnt. and also.. my naqibah n the other moscow sisters werent wasting their time in the metro. they read the quran, read islamic books.. yeah. how can I deny, tht I see the 'muslimahs' in them! then, tht night, alhamdulillah, we had a programme held by one of the moscow sister. the topic was tarbiyyah. Well, I think it would be too long for me to write abt it in this post. but I say... alhamdulillah. It was a great programme, 1 that cn refresh our spirits to move on, to remind us, to improve ourselves, etc.

the next day, I was pretty sleepy. once again, I had choices. This time, whether to sleep or to eat. N I chose... to eat!! haha.. I was being myself alrite!! but then, after that.. A moscow sister was asking me the situation over here in st pete. I told her how we muslimahs r the minorities. how programmes were held in a mixture of guys-girls. coz we r 1 society. N I was ok with tht. but the sister made me feel tht it is not ok. y?? coz we I am a Muslimah! She told me tht she used to mix around with guys too. but after the tarbiyyah started in her, she realized herself, tht as a muslimah, we have to build a boundary between us. she told me tht in my case.. it would be difficult. yeah.. engineering, with guys all around me. now I'm not trying to be an anti-guys person. Coz these guys, they r very nice, caring, polite, helpful, etc. towards me. N I appreciate it! jazakumullah. but like my naqibah said, I hv my priorities as a muslimah. so, the sister said tht I had to be strong..

A friend of mine used to say, tht she liked it when we really get along with guys. we got close and spend some time together. well, I had to say.. I liked it too. before I know that it is wrong. as in.. it is not the islamic way. astaghfirullah. As an elder friend used to say to me.. We hv to put islam high, meaning.. make it our priority. N this trip to moscow really tought me a lot. alhamdulillah X3. how can I not be grateful?? I felt like I saw somethg new, somethg sweet and pretty in being a muslimah. somehtg special, somethg unique. yeah.. but can I be like tht?? I hope so. AllahummaAmiin X3. be a gud muslimah!!

A step towards serenity. Hopefully...

Salam. now I'm a bit messed up right here. I guess I gotta pull out some of whats in my head to 'Ordinary Eyh??'.

K.. so.. u know how sometimes we want somethg so much, n we will be like, "I wanna do this!! I must do this!!" or "I want this!! I must have this for myself" Yeah!!!!

But what if what we r doing (/wanna do) is unbeneficial (or worse, it's the wrong thing to do!!). These things usually lead to the negative side. even sitting around wasting our time is like a crime. yeh know what I mean??

but then.. while I was in the middle of this dilemma, there's like a voice. A nice.. soft... voice... asking me to be patient... and be strong.... hmm.. I know as a muslimah, I gotta hold on!! N I felt like.. yeah.. u r right Mr Voice. But then Mr Voice continued... He said tht the Earth is not forever n we gotta work things out as our preparation for the final abode, the hereafter. yeaah.. ur right Mr Voice. jazakAllah.

N my mind went around and around and still.. it is around.. somewhere. which was why I decided to write here!!

hmm... y is it so hard for me to take this the right way. I prefer to be patient n wait for whatever I want to be right in front of my eyes, rather than to be patient in striving for Allah's blessings. Astaghfirullah. Tht's so not the way it should be.

Gotta straighten myself up! tie a knot to my iman, so that I wont lose it. but how?? y does this mind goes back to what I'm trying to avoid? how do we leave a bad habit eyh? I wonder............................

n now I rmb what my sister said:
...trying to resist doing things you enjoy doing; going online, watching movies, talking, joking, eating, sleeping… Sometimes you feel like giving up. Why am I killing myself with these books and lecture notes?? And exams!! Then again, you’ve got to remember, you are where you stand for a reason, a reason that you might not be certain of, but God knows. So hang in there, you’ve got to be strong. Just do your best and leave the rest to God. You’re a good person, you love God, and He loves you back. Whatever happens, it is because He wills it to happen. He is testing you, whether you’ll come to Him, or sail away…

yikes! ur absolutely right. Words of advice from my darling sister.. awwwwwwwwwww......... I'm touched. Her words refreshes my spirit to strive towards Allah's blessings. Alhamdulillah. I luv u Allah!!!! N I luv u my sister!!!!

PS: sometimes we do wrong things to solve our problems, when such wrong doings are unnecessary. U can live without it! Believe in Islam as the way of life. Yeahhh!!! =)

Usrah

Salam. Hey every1, know what the word usrah means? It means FAMILY!

U know, when I was in MRSM Beseri, I followed an usrah, which was almost every friday, when our guys went for friday prayers. An ustazah would come, n we would listen to her (like a tazkirah, but only for us muslimahs).

But when I went to UniKL Miat 4 my foundation. I found out that the usrah over there was unlike the usrah in school. We started with tadabbur, n then our naqibah continues with a tazkirah maybe, or a sirah, etc. Yup, it's different alrite!

Now in St Petersburg, Russia, things became a bit difficult for us, as in there's not much 'majlis ilmu'. Our beloved seniors ensure our weekly tazkirah is on (we take turn giving the tazkirah). N of course! We hv our usrah, with our naqibah in moscow. This also goes on weekly. n it's online (via skype). However, our naqibah came to St pete twice, n she's gonna come here again on saturday!! InsyaAllah.

Hmm.. As usrah means family.. There's one thing going on in our usrah. One thing! It is the love we hv for each other. Our previous usrah was yesterday. N only a couple of minutes after that, our beloved naqibah, posted on facebook, that she missed us already. so, sweet eyh? I say, our naqibah always remembers us! (I believe so!) Always wondering how we are getting along. How caring she is! She posted videos for us in facebook as reminders for us, so tht our iman will always be fresh!! Well, she tries to! =)

In the usrah, we also got the chance to express our feelings, our problems, etc. So, in this foreign world, we have Allah, n Allah gave us this 'usrah', this kind of family, for us to share our experience, our opinions and share what we are going through. Alhamdulillah.

N then there's the mutabaah. She asks us pray together, read the al-mathurat, qiamulail, fast, etc. Not tht we can do all of those, but she encourages us. Alhamdulillah, we can feel the difference. U know what? sometimes, we need tht little push, for us to improve ourselves.

Last time, in school, for PMR, I did not study the sirah. Sorry to say, I skipped the sirah part since I was not interested n had problems memorizing them. I suppose tht's why I got bad results for my Islamic studies for PMR! I deserved tht! so, I missed out the sirah part in school.. Alhamdulillah, in our usrah, sometimes our naqibah tells us the sirah. N insyaAllah, this way, I can still learn sirah, though I missed out some of it in school.

As a student studying in St pete, I feel grateful, alhamdulillah, to have given the chance to fulfill my soul requirements, to get reminders, to improve myself, my iman, insyaAllah. How can I not be grateful? Let alone my frenz got to go to talaqi. Well, maybe I cant find talaqi over here, I guess it was their opportunity, not mine (well, maybe I will have the chance, insyaAllah. amiin.)

Living in Russia taught me a lot! Responsibility, politeness, independence, strength, friendship, etc. Alhamdulillah. How can I not be grateful? Some people, Allah gives them the chance to learn more abt His religion - Islam. Some, Allah gives the chance to learn more abt science, math, etc. Some, abt cooking, housekeeping, maybe... (I mean, The chance is much bigger, wider!) who knows?? Allah knows. N Allah knows what's best for us. N I say, I believe that where I am now, that's the best for me (now)! This is my chance! My chance to shine! Shine?? haha.. I mean, I hv to use this chance with all my might. Strive for Allah's blessings. YeaAh!! InsyaAllah. =)

"Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both deny?" Surah Ar Rahman

Life is a battle!! It's war!!

U know sometimes we feel kinda tired. go to sleep? hv a rest? no. not tht kind of tired.. It's like this. life is war, a battle. We go fighting day by day like knight in shining armor, without the shining armor. haha.. juz kidding. like a knight. yea.. cn u imagine those ppl who goes to war. dont they ever get tired? or those ppl who goes to work daily.. arent they tired?? me? I'm tired. yea, so so tired tht I wanna talk 2 some1 abt this. some1 who cn give me the spirit to move on. but no, I wouldnt want to complain... I've decided to write abt it in 'Ordinary eyh??'.

Hmmm.. how.. how.. how......???

Solution:
1) Rmb who u r..
2) Rmb why ur doing this..
3) Rmb why u cant juz let everythg go..
4) Rmb when the end is gonna be..

N everythg goes to ZIKRULLAH (rmb Allah)!

1) I am Lydia. N not juz lydia. Lydia bt Azmi. N not juz Lydia binti Azmi. I am like u. yea, who r we? who r u?? who???
Answer: We r slaves! Slaves of who? Slaves of Allah.

2) Do this? do what?? for example, study, pray be nice 2 ppl, work etc. why?
Refer 2 the 1st question! Of course we must do it ikhlas (becoz of Allah). Not other but Allah.

3) It is a matter of responsibility, I say. As a slave of Allah, I hv not been sent to Earth juz to hv fun. no no no.. I hv been sent here with a mission. N I must fulfill the mission. If I juz let go, I will not achieve my mission. Then, where will my final abode be?? heaven or hell?? heaven heaven heaven. AllahummaAmiinX3.

4) To tell u the truth. I dont know. Allahu'alam (Allah knows). But what I know is the end is near. So??? If ur running in a race, n ur juz a couple of steps before u reach the finish line.. r u gonna give up juz bcoz ur super tired?? yes?? no!!! u will be like, 'juz a little bit, I hv to hold on, I'm gonna finish this race no matter what, I can make this happen, I can do this, go, go, go!!!' ok... so, u'll give urself the spirit to move on. coz u know how u'll be winner if u juz hold on.

wow! ok.. tht's cool. I got the idea now.. I hv to keep on running eyh?? yea.. Alhamdulillah. Goodness comes frm Allah. N I'm glad to have written this post. The battle is still on.. So I hv to move on. All the best every1!! May all of us have the will to hold on. AllahummaAmiinX3

*AllahuAllahuAllah. Allah knows everythg. Allah knows how tired we r, the difficulties we r facing, the desire in ourselves tht we tried so hard to ignore.. but it juz wouldnt go away. Allahu'alam. Take a few seconds to juz smile. put ur right palm to ur left shoulder n juz gv ur self a pad on the back. say 2 urself, "Lydia (If ur name is Lydia), come on lydia, dont gv up, ur a Muslimah (Muslim). A Muslimah (Muslim) never gives up!!! jia you, jia you! ni ke yi la!!!!" =)

R u sure tht u'll die in Islam?? hmm..

O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared and do not die except as Muslims [in submission to Him].


102. Hai orang-orang yang beriman, bertakwalah kepada Allah sebenar-benar takwa kepada-Nya; dan janganlah sekali-kali kamu mati melainkan dalam keadaan beragama Islam.

(Surah Ali Imran: ayat 102)

Sufyan Al-Thauri ketika membaca ayat ini, lantas menangis sehingga hampir saja tulang2 rusuknya berpisah. Org ramai bertanyakn kpdnya, "Ada apa dgnmu?"

Dia menjawab, "Aku khuatir jika meninggal dunia dlm keadaan tidak memeluk Islam. Ini krn, akhir hayat itu ada di tngan Allah, dan akhir hayat itu adalah saat penentuan.


(this was taken also from a book: Indahnya Cinta by Dr. Aidh Abdullah Al-Qarni)

Wallahualam. U see my frenz, how important the ending of our life is. N it's in Allah's hand. So.. how can we get this happy ending? hmm?? Think abt it!!

Al-Zubair Bin Al-'Awwam

Who is him? Do u know him? Well, even if u do know him. I kindly ask u 2 continue reading till the end of this post. N not juz read it, feel it. There's somethg in his story which touches my heart.. (From a book tht I read: Jadilah Wanita Terpuji Dunia-akhirat by Dr Akram Ridha)

Al-Zubair bin al-'Awwam, anak kpd ibu saudara Rasulullah saw. Ttg keutamaan al-Zubair ini Rasulullah saw prnah brsabda:

Ertinya:
"Talhah dan al-Zubair adalah pendampingku di syurga."

Al-Zubair bin al-'Awwam adalah seorg sahabat yg pemberani. Dia turut serta dlm seluruh peperangan yg dipimpin Rasulullah saw, dlm perang Riddah (perang trhadap org2 yg murtad) di masa pemerintahan Abu Bakar dan perang penaklukan berbagai negeri di masa Umar. Dia juga merupakan pahlawan Perang Yarmuk. Tentang keistimewaan Al-Zubair bin al-'Awwam ini, Rasulullah saw prnah brsabda:

Ertinya:
"Sesungguhnya setiap nabi memiliki pendamping/pengikut setia (hawariy) dan pndamping setiaku adalah Al-Zubair bin al-'Awwam."

Abu Nu'aim menambahkan satu riwayat lagi tntang keutamaan al-Zubair ini. Diriwayatkan bahawa ketika trjadinya Perang Ahzab, Rasulullah saw brtanya (kpd para sahabat), "Siapakah yang bersedia memata-matai gerak-geri musuh?" Al-Zubair segera berkata, "Saya, wahai Rasulullah saw." Dia mengucapkannya sbyk 3 kali. (Diriwayatkan oleh Termizi dlm kitab: al-Manaqib: 3687)

Ketika perselisihan antara Ali bin Abu Talib ra dengan Muawiyah bin Abu Sofyan semakin meruncing, iaitu setelah trbunuhnya Khalifah Uthman bin Affan ra, sejarah mencatat trjadinya sebuah peristiwa yg dikenali dengan sebutan Waq'atul Jamaal (Peristiwa Unta). Ketika itu, al-Zubair brsama Ummul Mukminin Aisyah Radhiallahu'anha dengan diiringi serombongan sahabat yang lain keluar dari kota Madinah dengan maksud mendamaikan Ali dan Muawiyah. Ternyata, org2 munafik yg berada dalam pasukan Ali berusaha memutarbelitkan informasi tentang keberangkatan rombongan Sayyidah Aisyah trsebut sehingga mengarah kpd pertikaian antara pasukan Ali bin Abu Thalib dengan rombongan Ummul Mukminin. Ini mendorong para sahabat yang ikut pada masa itu, di barisan depannya Talhah dan al-Zubair, segera melindungi unta yang membawa isteri Rasulullah saw trsebut. Keadaan menjadi semakin memuncak dan berbagai prasangka negatif bermunculan di antara kedua belah pihak. Akibatnya, hampir sahaja terjadi insiden berdarah antara rombongan Sayyidah Aisyah dengan Ali dan pasukannya.

Pada situasi yang genting tersebut, Ali kemudian mengundang al-Zubair untuk bertemu dengannya. Ketika keduanya sudah saling berhadapan di atas kudanya masing-masing, Ali kemudian berkata, "Wahai al-Zubair, Demi Allah masihkah kamu ingat ketika pada suatu hari kamu berjalan bersama Rasulullah saw, lalu kita bertemu di suatu tempat dan Rasulullah saw bertanya kepadamu, 'Wahai al-Zubair, apakah engkau menyayangi Ali?' Engkau lalu menjawab, 'Bagaimana mungkin saya tidak menyayangi anak ibu saudara, anak bapa saudara saya dan saudara saya seagama?' Rasulullah saw selanjutnya berkata kepadamu, 'Demi Allah wahai al-Zubair, jika engkau sampai memeranginya maka engkau adalah orang yg zalim'." Mendengar kata2 Ali tersebut, al-Zubair berkata, "Saya baru teringat sekarang. Hampir sahaja saya lupa dengan sabda baginda itu. Demi Allah, saya tidak akan memerangimu," Setelah berkata demikian, al-Zubair segera memacu kudanya kembali kepada roombongannya.

Setelah pembicaraan antara Ali dan Al-Zubair bin al-'Awwam itu, keadaan di kedua belah pihak kembali tenang. Ali dan Sayyidah Aisyah saling memahami posisi masing2. Ali juga memahami maksud keluarnya Aisyah. Dia kemudian meminta maaf atas tindakan yang dilakukan beberapa orang munafik dari pasukannya dan selanjutnya mengirimkan sejumlah pasukan utk mengawal Ummul Mukminin beserta rombongannya kembali ke kota Madinah.

Ternyata dalam perjalanan pulang tersebut, seseorg bernama Amr bin Jurmuz mengekori langkah al-Zubair. Lelaki itu lalu menikam al-Zubair ketika dia sedang solat. Akibatnya, tubuh sahabat kesayangan Nabi saw itu pun tersungkur bersimbah darah. Dia syahid di tmpat itu. Setelah menikam al-Zubair, pembunuh yang licik itu pergi ke kediaman Ali bin Abu Thalib dan bermaksud menemuinya. Ketika Ali mendengar perbuatan yang dilakukan Ibn Jurmuz trsebut, dia langsung mengusirnya seraya berkata keras "Khabarkanlah kpd pembunuh Ibn Shafiyyah (al-Zubair) bahawa dia akan masuk neraka (kerana perbuatannya itu)." Demikian juga ketika pedang al-Zubair yg smpat dicuri oleh Ibn Jurmuz diserahkan kpd Ali, dia langsung menciumnya dgn berlinang air mata seraya berkata, "Demi Allah, inilah pedang yang sudah sering kali dipergunakan pemiliknya untuk melindungi Rasulullah saw dari serangan musuh2 baginda."

ilmu-lovers??

u know.. my winter break has ended. New semester has begun. Many asked me abt how my holiday was going along. great! I learned a lot. But of course, there's lots more 2 be learnt!! yea... hey! That reminds me!!

Someone once said 2 Umar bin Abdul Aziz, "When u r able to be some1 alim, then be. But if u r unable to be so, be some1 who likes 2 learn. If u r unable to be so, be some1 who loves the fellow ulama'. But if u r still unable to be so, then dont be some1 who hates them." Then Umar bin Abdul Aziz said, "SubhanAllah, really this person has given the way out to all of us."

(Sry abt the translation tht I juz gave, hope tht the msg is clear!)

A couple of frenz invited me to some 'majlis ilmu'. Alhamdulillah. 1st one was the talaqi. I was like.. "what was it all abt, every1 was like 'crazy' abt this talaqi." I have to say, how dead I was. yea, DEAD. At least, my heart was dead. (hope tht it is currently alive. amiin.). Oh.. how cn I explain this 2 u. u c... While every1 got so excited with talaqi, I went all the way confused. what was wrong with me? y cant i feel what they feel. u must be confused too rite?? what's lydia talking abt???? yea, so let my explain. my frenz n the rest who went to the talaqi seemed to be in love with this 'majlis ilmu' and their teacher. looking forward to it every single week. but me? how come I felt normal, no excitement or anythg like tht. I suppose that my heart hardened.. it's like.... a stone!! I get what the teacher said, alrite. but... hmm... it juz didnt reach me, didnt reach my heart. N wow!! that's a sad thing, really!! I wanted more. I wanted to feel what the others felt. I know tht it is vital to love ilmu. Oh how it will bring goodness 2 us. InsyaAllah. how it will refresh our hearts... how it will open our hearts n reveal the truth to us. InsyaAllah.

(some feelings are juz difficult to be described into words. I'm trying u know!)

but at the 2nd talaqi, everythg started 2 make some sense. I felt it (a bit). The talaqi was abt Maulidur Rasul. my heart went all jumpy singing Ya Rabbi bil Mustofa. I was very2 glad. I felt the ni'mat that Allah gave. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

1 thing is.. These couple of days, I cn actually FEEL. Alhamdulillah. The feeling is somethg I value so much. It is the feel of how short life is (like in my previous post), how near death is, how insignificant it is to fight for something in this dunya. N I'm afraid, really. what if I forget abt all this. oh how I want this feeling to stay. I dont want to be enjoy myself all the way. Ya Allah. I know I'm juz a normal person. N strength? I dont think I hv it with me. In Russia I seldom go to such 'majlis ilmu'. It is like... hmm... If I hv nothg to remind me of who I am (a slave of Allah of course) n what life is all abt, then, I myself have to work this out. gv reminder 2 myself, n 2 others insyaAllah. Life is a game, in which u shud not play with. If u value ur iman, dont test it! please.

Wallahualam. May we be blessed always with remembrance of Allah. Amiin.

stare into space..

stare into space?? haha... (I'm trying 2 say 'renungkanlah' in other words) get it?? haha.. whateva lydia..

hmm.. I've been thinking lately. I'm turning 20 this year. wow! so soon?? think abt it.. if my life goes on.. soon I'll be 40, 60, 80.... WOW!! n death is so so near. but when?? Wallahu'alam. yea, life is short. gain 4 'dunya', it wont be longlasting.. gain 4 'akhirat', insyaAllah, tht's 4eva. coz akhirat=our final abode.

If u really think abt this, abt how short life is... U may get to a point when u realised what life is all abt.. how short life is. why do I keep on saying this?? how short life is. coz it's the truth! I'm serious.

what is our mission again?? dakwah!! seeking Allah's redha!! aint easy... but we gotta make some efforts, rite? time is running. R we still strolling abt n hving out own sweet time?? girl, ur 20!! (almost! haha...) 2 decades, i tell u! come on!!!

Come on young Muslims!!

A Child’s Prayer Lyrics

I sometimes lie awake at night
And wonder at the stars so bright
I dream about my future too
And the things that I will do
Soon the world will count on me
I’m the future they agree
People depend on me somehow
Though small and timid, I am now
So you and I my dearest friend
Must stand together till the end
For we are one by Allah’s grace
No matter what our colour or race
We must prepare ourselves today
While we journey on our life’s way
So much there is to learn and see
For true believers we must be
Yeah, yeah. Come on.
Yeah, yeah. Come on.
Go forward young Muslims, wherever you are
In the shadow of the sun or by the light of a star
Your Supreme protector is Almighty Allah
Go forward young Muslims wherever you are
Go forward young Muslims we feel your pain.
So many places, Palestine,
People are dying, mothers are crying
Bombs are falling from the sky, people asking why.
The only thing that we can do is pray to God, to help them through
But do they realize that Allah hates those who kill and despise.
I think that’s no surprise. We must rise up.
Come on young Muslims, gotta rise up.
Come on young Muslims.
Together we must stand in the Masjid to pray,
Pray for a better day, a better way
To make this world a better place.
Cause lets face it, it’s out of control.
We need to grab hold of each other
unite as one Ummah.
Like back in the days of the
Companions of the Prophet
Some were young, they were strong and they
loved each other
Brothers and sisters and they could
die for one another.
Yeah. Yeah.
So stand up young Muslims.
Say it out loud, it’s time to be counted.
Right here, right now.
Yeah, right here. Come on, right now.
O Allah we love you so
Give us health and make us grow
Be with us each passing day
While we journey on life’s way

*so adorable!!!!

A traveler eyh??

Ibn `Umar relates that Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) placed his hand on his shoulder and said: “Be in the world as if you are a stranger or a wayfarer (musafir).”

Thereafter, Ibn `Umar used to say: “When the night comes, do not wait for the day, and when the day comes, do not wait for the night. Take from your health for your sickness, and take from your life for your death.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (7/170)]

I rmb this hadis. We learned it in school(SPM) if I'm not mistaken. but then, back in school I didnt quite undrstand what this hadis meant. musafir is a traveler right. so we're like travelers eyh?? then I asked, y?? I kept on reading the textbook. The answer tht was found wasnt clear......

Now tht I'm in Saint Petersburg, Russia, I kinda realised what it really means. But 1st let me tell u a bit abt my life here in russia. hmm... I'm not living in luxury. nope. not exactly. But I'm not starving to death either. what I can say is alhamdulillah. I hv enough, I'm living in comfort with friendly neighbours n I'm happy with tht. But wait. Look at the Russians!! Wow... Cool car!! nice house!! Beautiful outfit!! N they've got many frenz 2!!
If I'm in their position, yea.... Maybe I would like those things. But hey! I'm not gonna be here forever.. Y buy a car when I'm leaving off in a couple of years? U get what I mean??

So, now tht I know how a traveler is. I kinda get the idea. We're on planet Earth. N we're not here forever. Like I said "The end is near". Our final abode -> the hereafter. yup! So, rather than getting attached to everythg in this world, I should be gathering all kinds of supplies for my next journey.

And take a provision (with you) for the journey, but the best provision is At-Taqwa (piety, righteousness, etc.) (Surah Al Baqarah: ayat 197)

Not juz tht! Lets look it in a diff perspective. U know how I feel here in St Pete? I miss my family, my relatives, my frenz, my country, my home, etc. yea, of course! N we Muslims must believe tht we come from Allah n to Allah we will be brought back. Who should we be longing 4?? Allah. We're not those travelers who doesnt know where we would end up. No! It's stated in the quran. Back to the hereafter.

Every soul shall have a taste of death: in the end to Us shall ye be brought back. (Surah Al Ankabut: ayat 57)

I say we're lucky! VERY lucky. We can prepare ourselves well. We know what's ahead of us. Allah gave us the quran. A guidance indeed. Alhamdulillah.

Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny? (Surah Ar Rahman)

I discussed this matter with a gud fren of mine. She said, we've gotta grab this chance!! Grab some knowledge, do righteous deeds! We're not here for long. Yea, she's right.

Now there's another opinion. Read this.

“Islam began strange, and it will become strange again just like it was at the beginning, so blessed are the strangers.” [Sahîh Muslim (1/131)]

Being a foreigner, I'm kinda like a stranger to the Russians. иностранец (i-no-stra-ni-yets) = foreigner/alien. Alien?? yea.. we are in a way called aliens by the russians. haha.. y? coz we r the minority. U know when we 1st met sum1, we wanna give tht person a gud impression of ourselves? so, yea... as strangers tht's what we're doing. Trying 2 show them tht we're diff but we're not as strange n weird as they think. My point is.. as a traveler, in this world we gotta always be like tht. Not 2 show off.. but to maintain or respect towards others. Treat our frenz as if we had juz known them. say gud things, smile, etc.. (Reminder 2 myself!)

Wallahualam.

I guess tht's all 4 tonight. This is the end of this post. Last but not least. Dont know if any1 notices, my blog was edited. haha.. Many thanks 2 Mr Baim. Didt know tht he's a great editor! haha.. Thank you my dear fren. Salam.

Mengapa al-Ma’thurat Memenuhi Selera Rohani Saya

This was taken from another blog (not my writing!!): http://abidfana.com/2010/01/14/mengapa-al-mathurat-memenuhi-selera-rohani-saya/

anw, read it up!! =)


Sebagai pendokong usaha menegakkan Islam sebagai deen yang memerintah, kita tidak boleh melupakan tanggungjawab untuk berzikir mengingati Allah SWT sebanyak-banyaknya. Antara kesilapan pendokong gerakan Islam ialah terlalu sibuk dengan urusan sesama manusia dan mad’u, sehingga terabai kualiti hubungan dengan Allah. Tidak pula dinafikan yang kesibukan berdakwah sesama manusia juga adalah sebahagian daripada zikrullah, akan tetapi nilailah sejauh mana kita memperuntukkan masa dan fokus diri untuk berkhalwat, bersendirian bersama Allah SWT.

Sebagai antara pengasas kepada gerakan Islam pasca kejatuhan khilafah, al-Imam al-Syahid Hasan al-Banna amat menitik beratkan amalan berzikir di kalangan ahli al-Ikhwan al-Muslimun. Apatah lagi dengan latar belakang beliau semasa zaman kanak-kanak, beliau pernah membesar di dalam suasana bertariqat. Semasa di Mesir, saya agak beruntung kerana rumah pertama saya di Syari’ Mawazin, Damanhour, letaknya hanya 5 minit berjalan kaki dengan Masjid al-Jamie’ al-Hisofi, tempat Imam al-Banna ditarbiah rohaninya menerusi tariqat Shazuliyyah Hisofiyyah. Walaupun saya secara peribadi kurang selesa dengan cara tariqat itu sekarang, apa yang pasti pengalaman Imam Hasan al-Banna di zaman kanak-kanaknya amat banyak mempengaruhi cara hidup beliau sehingga dianugerahkan syahid.

Beliau telah memperkenalkan wirid zikir al-Ma’thurat kepada umat Islam dan khususnya kepada pendokong gerakan Islam sebagai makanan rohani penguat jiwa mereka. Semasa mencadangkan al-Ma’thurat, al-Banna telah memberikan pesanan terhadap beberapa perkara penting di sebalik al-Ma’thurat:

1. Zikir mengingati Allah sebenarnya perlu dilakukan pada setiap ketika, termasuklah di dalam perkara yang biasanya dianggap sebagai perkara duniawi. Seni mengaitkan amalan dunia yang dilihat tiada kaitan dengan ritual keagamaan, dengan mengingati Allah, adalah suatu seni yang perlu digilap oleh pendokong Islam.

2. Beliau juga memperingatkan kepada ahli Ikhwan mengenai fadhilat zikir. Yang paling utama menurut beliau, ialah dengan mengingati Allah, Allah akan mengingati kita, seterusnya membawa kepada nusrah dan ketenangan di dalam menggalas amanah dakwah.

3. Adab berzikir turut ditekankan oleh beliau. Adab paling penting ialah menghadirkan kemanisan hati semasa berzikir, dengan memberikan fokus dan memikir falsafah pengertian zikir yang dilafaz lisan. Beliau turut menyatakan keutamaan merendahkan suara di dalam berzikir, dan juga menjaga kebersihan pakaian serta tempat ketika berzikir.

4. Di dalam masa yang sama, beliau turut menggalakkan ahli Ikhwan supaya membaca al-Ma’thurat secara berjemaah atau beramai-ramai, dengan syarat tidak menganggu orang lain yang sedang bersembahyang atau mengerjakan urusan yang lain. Semasa di Mesir, selalu juga saya menghadiri majlis zikir al-Ma’thurat anjuran Ikhwan di beberapa surau perkumpulan mereka. Akan tetapi sekiranya ada rakan mereka yang lewat masuk ke surau kemudian menunaikan solat, mereka secara automatik akan merendahkan suara. Menurut al-Banna, kelebihan berzikir secara berkumpulan ini disentuh di dalam sepotong hadith riwayat Muslim:

لا يقعد قوم يذكرون الله عز وجل إلا حفتهم الملائكة وغشيتهم الرحمة ، ونزلت عليهم السكينة ، وذكرهم الله فيمن عنده

Tidaklah duduk sesuatu kaum itu (berkumpul) berzikir mengingati Allah Azza wa Jall, melainkan dinaungi mereka dengan malaikat, dilimpahi dengan rahmah, dianugerahkan ketenangan dan Allah mengingati mereka terhadap apa yang di sisi mereka.

Ada beberapa perkara yang barangkali ingin saya tambah di sini berkaitan dengan isu zikir dan al-Ma’thurat.

1. Setiap manusia mempunyai selera yang berbeza, baik selera fizikal seperti makan minum berpakaian, mahu pun selera rohani. Ada sesetengah orang, rohaninya lebih berselera dengan banyak menunaikan solat sunat. Ada setengah orang dengan banyak berzikir. Ada sesetengah orang suka berzikir dengan ayat al-Quran. Sesetengah yang lain berzikir dengan wirid-wirid yang diajar oleh nabi, sahabat, atau oleh tok guru mereka. Justeru, carilah selera rohani kita. Secara peribadi, selera rohani saya ialah al-Ma’thurat, dan saya akan didik anak-anak dan keluarga saya mempunyai selera rohani yang sama. Firman Allah di dalam Surah al-Isra’ ayat 84:

قُلْ كُلٌّ يَعْمَلُ عَلَىٰ شَاكِلَتِهِ فَرَبُّكُمْ أَعْلَمُ بِمَنْ هُوَ أَهْدَىٰ سَبِيلاً

Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad) setiap orang beramal mengikut pembawaan jiwanya sendiri. Maka Tuhan lebih mengetahui siapakah yang lebih betul jalannya.

2. Kenapa al-Ma’thurat? Jawapan mudah dan ringkasnya ialah kerana al-Ma’thurat menghimpunkan wirid di dalam al-Quran dan juga di dalam hadith sohih semata-mata. Maksudnya, al-Ma’thurat ialah himpunan doa ma’thur yang diajar oleh Allah dan Nabi. Ayat al-Quran, walaupun kita membacanya tanpa mengetahui maknanya, akan terus mendapat pahala.

3. Bagaimana pula dengan wirid atau hizib atau segala juga istilah zikir yang diajar oleh tok-tok guru tertentu selepas kewafatan nabi? Bagi saya tiada masalah untuk mempunyai disiplin amalan yang dicadangkan oleh tok-tok guru tertentu, dengan syarat ialah tidak bercangah dengan syara’, tidak mempunyai elemen syirik, mempunyai makna yang baik serta pengamalnya faham falsafah pengertian zikir tersebut. Akan tetapi sekiranya dibandingkan antara zikir yang diajar oleh Allah dan Rasulnya, berbanding zikir yang diajar oleh manusia lain, sudah tentu menjadi keutamaan kita mengikuti zikir anjuran Allah dan Rasul. Dan inilah kelebihan al-Ma’thurat.

Allahua’lam bissowab.

May the force be with u???

Nope. Not abt Star Wars or anythg associated to it. Haha.. So, wat is this all abt eyh lydia? hmm... U know the situation when some1 forces u 2 do sumthg. for example, ur mom asking u 2 eat up sumthg u really dont like or some frenz asking u 2 do some cleaning up or anythg... its normal rite? But my fellow friends, what is the best way to deal with this situation. Esp when there r no choices in life? I mean, u gotta do it out of resposibility n everythg. yeah. How do we face these situations?

If tht sum1 is ur mum, u shouldnt say no, rite? (a reminder to Lydia Azmi). Its an obligation (kwajipan). What if tht sum1 is not ur mom, or ur dad, or any1 tht u hv to never say no to. ur frenz for exmple..

U know what guys... When u remove one's burden (or do sumthg tht makes he/her happy), Allah will remove ur burden. When u help sum1, Allah will help u back. WAllahualam. yeah. actually, helping ur frenz, tht's an ibadat. It sure is insyaAllah. So put a gud niat with it. Innamal a'mal bi al-niat. When the niat is there.. wow! Its sumthg alrite!! But without the niat... It's not much.

My point is???? Life is a choice. U think u were left with no choices eyh? u gotta do what u gotta do. tht's responsibility maam! If ur irresponsible, u wouldnt care much abt this n always do as u wish. So alhamdulillah, resposibility?? put a tick on it!! =) A gud news eyh?

Hmm.. I'm not done yet! y dont u put it this way.. Life is a choice. It actually is. Ur choices 1) Not to do what u were supposed 2 do (out of irresponsibility) 2) do it with a heavy heart, grumpy face, angry tone etc.. unhappily n unproperly (not doing it to ur best) 3) to put on niat lillahitaala. not complaining n try to make the best out of it. It is for Allah's redha right? So.... It is never a waste of time, energy etc.. coz though u dislike it, it is not for u. eh. It is for u!! Coz when u get Allah's redha... paradise awaits. InsyaAllah. AllahummaAmiinX3

Be spirited. This a big chance for u. They say, the more u dislike it, when u do it ikhlas, the more u will be blessed. Wallahualam. May this be a reminder for all of us. Amiin. =)