Can I write?

I am in the mood of writing a sad story. But I doubt tht it will be of anyone's interest because there are no plots or whatsoever. but still.. Shall I continue?

This a story abt a girl who fell and fell and fell. u think this girl would get up again and move on with her life? hmm.. think again. the fall she went through was not juz a fall. it is a fall which gave such pain, not only to her limbs, but also her heart. heartbroken eyh? hmm.. hard to say. u must be wondering what happened to her, how did the heart got broken? n why did the fall occurs over and over again. it is herself tht u should look into. the reason is her. why? because she kept putting herself into the same situation. she allowed herself to be hurt. in which way? well, does it matters? yes? no?

This story reveals on how she brought herself back to her own feet. how she gathered her courage to look over the past. how she continued her life full-spirited, motivated. how?? let me tell u a bit of her story.

Every morning she woke up with the memory of her past. how she wished tht she had not fall so many times. to get up from her bed is to begin a new day. even when the sun did shine.. she felt all gloomy and dark inside. she could cry all day long if her eyes dont get sore. it is true how one gets so depressed, one drags itself here and there like a zombie. so lifeless.. so empty. yes. empty. dark and empty.

days were full of regret. but regret does not allow one to turn back the time. what's done is done. tht's it! so.. how? she knows the pain and sorrow she's going through, of course. n it struck her how horrible her current situation was. the girl did not want the rest of her life wasted just like tht. no. she hated being her zombie self.

there's this voice inside her, saying things. nice things. sweet things. one which gave her hope. n trying to grab her, to protect her from such a disastrous end. is it herself? is it her 'iman'. WAllahualam.

the voice spoke of life: "Life is a chance. do not waste this chance. nothing assures tht u will always get this chance. so grab it while u can before ur life comes to an end. to smile or not to smile.. it is ur choice. question urself, r u grateful to Allah, ur one and only god? r u?? because life.. it is made up of choices."

hah!!the girl was reminded of some words from a very honorable friend: "If we believe tht everythg in our life is part of Allah's arrangement, we would surely feel the nikmat of being Allah's slave. We don't need to erase it. Keep it neat n tidy in our heart so tht it becomes a reminder for us."

clear isnt it, how big the word redha is. and how the absence of redha was very obvious in herself. she once learnt tht redha = not a single to nag/complain/grumble. yeah. somewhat like that. and the element of gratefulness. where is it? is it there? I doubt it. tht was the missing element. one she should not run out of. one she could restore in herself by juz forcing a sincere smile with her lips singing Alhamdulillah.

the girl took her time to muhasabah. to allow the tarbiyyah she's going through. She knew how humans should allow Allah to touch their hearts. the heart. it is a special thing really. sadly.. it was broken. but guess what? Allah created the heart. dont u think tht Allah can cure it? of course. Allah, the creator of her tiny heart can easily renew her heart. but of course, Allah knows better of what to do with her heart. so the girl decided to hand the heart to Allah. She asked Allah to give her the strength to move on, for she could never move forward if it isnt for Allah and Allah's blessings. so what's next. The return to Allah. hopefully.

The end.

what a weird story eyh? y write such stories?

Because to bring urself forward, to me, is not an easy thing. to pull urself together after many falls can be so difficult tht u juz wanna give up. we can look back in the past and cry all of our tears but what's the use? yesterday is no longer ours. yesterday was juz yesterday. no change can be made. disappointment. tht's how I feel. disappointed of myself for being the person i was/ i am. but the only question left is.. Am I still gonna disappoint myself?

PS: the only thing the girl did and still doing is muhasabah. does it work? is she gonna survive? can she live full-spirited, motivated? WAllahualam.

May this story be one that encourages us to be better. Sry if it is juz a waste of ur time. I juz wanted to write something. I suppose this is something eyh?