dreams

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Allahumma solli ala muhammad. wa ala alihi wasahbihi wabarik wasallim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Alhamdulillah. There's a pushy feeling in my heart, encouraging me to write. May this blog entry be a benefit to my fellow readers. AllahummaAmiin.

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. Astaghfirullah min kulli zanbin.

Today I felt a nikmat which I always forget. Astaghfirullahalazhim. It is the nikmat of being grateful. N why is it a nikmat? Allahu Allah.. when I feel grateful.. I feel like smiling... like crying out of happiness.. I feel so loved by Allah. but Allahu Allah.. such a big nikmat.. for me who is not much of a good slave. Allah..

I have these dreams. I dream of becoming someone who has fallen deeply, deeply, DEEPLY, in love with Allah SWT and Rasulullah saw.. Looking into each and every event in life not just through my pair of eyes, but also through my heart. Always eager to show my love towards Rasulullah saw not only with words but with amal which he s.a.w. thought us. It could be just as simple as being cheerful with friends.

I dream of waking up every night.. Performing prayers to my one and only god, Allah the Most Greatful. Making du'a, shedding tears in the silence of night, not because of the strong aroma of the onion but to cry tears of fear towards Allah, hoping for his forgiveness.

I dream of being worried and afraid at times when guys keep mentioning my name, and when I'm am always in the centre of attention, not because I am at fault towards them, not because they are scarily lurking towards me.. but because of the feeling of guilt towards Allah whenever guys get so fanatic over me, and when my name is repeatedly mentioned. Why? Allahu'alam. Because of beauty? because I'm a girl? ..the guilt when I fail in handling whatever Allah lends me with from fitnah towards my beloved deen. Let me shed tears over this situation in fear of inviting the wrath (kemurkaan) of Allah. Oh Allah..

I dream of becoming someone so reminded by death and what follows it. So aware of the time passing by.. Not giving a single second to waste from asking Allah's forgiveness. So busy in striving for Allah's redha that I dont have the time to attend to my worldly desires. Allahu Allah.

But then.. I'm not saying that I am this kind of person. Allah.. Those are my dreams which are not a part of me YET. A dream which I'm sharing with you so tht you can dream too!

Dreams biiznillah can be a reality. The question is how much we strive for it. WAllahualam.

May Allah accept our efforts and set our heart straight in striving for His redha. AllahummaAmiinX3