Aug 24, 2011

Haunted!

Assalamualaikum wbt. Dear readers. This short post is one which was inspired by a recent conversation between me and a sis who I very much love, adore and respect. May Allah bless her. AllahummaAmiin.

Me: Hmm.. I sometimes feel like erasing my past. But sadly, we're unable to do so.

Her: Allah.. InsyaAllah. If we believe tht everythg in our life is part of Allah's arrangement, we would surely feel the nikmat of being Allah's slave. We don't need to erase it. Keep it neat n tidy in our heart so tht it becomes a reminder for us.

Me: aww.. so sad..

Her: Don't be sad. InsyaAllah. When we want to do good, Allah is surely with us.

Me: Sometimes I feel tht I'm unable to change myself into being a better person. It's so difficult.

Her: InsyaAllah. We have to be optimists. Slowly. Not drastically. Tawakal but don't forget to put some efforts. Put some efforts but don't forget to doa(pray). "Man jada wajada, man zar'a hasoda"

Many of u may have the same problem as me. Haunted by my own past. Trying change, but to change is so difficult! thought once or twice of giving up. but I myself know how giving up is not an option to this problem. Alhamdulillah. I agree with this beloved fren of mine. yes. "We don't need to erase it. Keep it neat n tidy in our heart so tht it becomes a reminder for us." InsyaAllah. Wallahualam.

Aug 15, 2011

A Chance.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim.

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. there's somethg tonight tht makes me tip-top n ready to write on "Ordinary Eyh??". So, what's up Lydia? hmm...

My fellow readers, I've been sick lately. to be more precise.. I've been heaving headache for days. but this evening I felt a lot better. Alhamdulillah. the days had been quite dreadful I have to say: my headache worsen when I look at lamps, my laptop, tv, n of course.. I didnt even dare to read any kind of books.. and also as I always do when I get headaches.. I avoided wearing my specs.. difficult to explain my situation, but laying down on the bed didnt make me feel better. I juz hoped tht time flies so quickly tht maghrib comes n I can actually distract myself with food n take up some medicine.

Now why in the world did I tell u all of these?? to get ur attention? to complain? nope. nauzubillahiminzalik.

juz to share with u.. the dreadful days made me sigh the big sigh which says, "Why Allah, do u give me such sickness?? now I cant do anythg. I so wanna distract myself from all of these.. but I cant even watch the tv!!" Allahu Allahu Allah. Ok. I know how bad this is. to sigh. to complain. to not be a grateful person. Astaghfirullah.

but this evening things changed. Now I feel so fresh n my mind.. its clear. Alhamdulillah. N I thought.. "Lydia.. If u dont use this chance... the chance will be wasted. N guess what? there's no doubt tht the sickness will come back.. maybe tomorrow, maybe in a couple of hours.. come on Lydia, come on! This might be ur one and only chance. U hv not been a grateful person. The least u could do is to strive for it now. InsyaAllah." Come friends. being sick.. there's not much tht u can do. I'm serious. Lets make use of what we have. Lets be grateful to Allah. InsyaAllah. Alhamdulillahirabbilalamiin.