Muslimah

Salam. hey every1.. I juz came back from moscow.. I learnt a lot in moscow by spending some time with many other sisters from moscow, novgorad, volgograd and kursk, Russia. alhamdulillah. so, I wanna share somethg with u, abt muslimah.

at first i was with my friends, watching the games held in moscow. badminton, futsal, etc. On the way to the badminton hall n on the way back.. I was with two other sniors (girls), but of course the bus seat was two by two. N I was alone since they chose to seat together. of course there were other guys from my team. At first I sat alone, but when a guy came to count the remaining empty seats, I started to worry. I dont want to seat beside any guy strangers!!! so, i wanted to sit with my guy snior who of course, I am familiar with. n so I said, I wanted to sit with him. Of course, he was being polite and allowed me to do so. and of course, we remained silent all the way to the hall. And otw back, I make that similar choice. But now I realized tht it was the wrong choice. Astaghfirullah. Maybe I chose to do so because I felt calm and safe to be seated beside some1 I know. But the fact is, I'm a Muslimah. N must choose to not-to-seat-beside-guys. I should seat alone, coz tht is my choice as a muslimah. but for a guy to come and join me, eventhough I felt uneasy, and totally dislike.. Thts ok, coz thts not my choice, juz somethg that I cant prevent myself from, I cant run from. maybe its what Allah is testing me with. Wallahualam.

then, my beloved naqibah came and picked me up. she brought me to the home of moscow sisters (medic students). I met them, got to know them, etc.. Looking at them, I felt happy and calm, a very nice feeling which is quite difficult to explain. N I said to myself, wow! they are really bringing up their 'muslimah'. I mean.. I can really see 'Muslimah' in them.

the next day, I was supposed to support my friends playing the basketball. I say... they were great!! but what comes after that was the hockey (guys). N I knew that my naqibah (who was with me all along), wanted to go home. but I did not know the exact reason. so, for being a nice guest, I decided to go home too, when she actually gave me a choice to stay. I was happy to be able to support my smtu team, guys n girls. but I hv my priority, which was to be a well-behaved, not-so-lousy guest. but then, my naqibah told me that she chose to go home, also because she has a priority, which was different than mine. huhh? what pripority?? A priority as a muslimah! she said that as a muslimah.. we cant go around following what other people do. we have to interpret the situation, n choose for the better. It struck me, really. but now, I think I got it. U know, I hv some very close non-muslim friends. we always hang out together. but once, they brought me along to the arcade, n I really felt like I didnt belong there. y?? Because I'm a muslimah!! N I was repeatedly asking myself... "What am I doing here???". I guess that was how my naqibah felt. we muslimah have to lower our gaze toward guys, juz like guys have to lower their gaze to girls u know? so, how can we muslimah intentionally look at a group of guys, playing around?? I guess, as a muslimah.. I should not do so, even if I only wanted to support them. Like my naqibah used to say.. we girls give dakwah to girls. tht's our part! whereas guys have their own parts. we dont have to interfere, coz guys n girls.. there is a boundary in between.

Ok! 1 lesson learnt. and also.. my naqibah n the other moscow sisters werent wasting their time in the metro. they read the quran, read islamic books.. yeah. how can I deny, tht I see the 'muslimahs' in them! then, tht night, alhamdulillah, we had a programme held by one of the moscow sister. the topic was tarbiyyah. Well, I think it would be too long for me to write abt it in this post. but I say... alhamdulillah. It was a great programme, 1 that cn refresh our spirits to move on, to remind us, to improve ourselves, etc.

the next day, I was pretty sleepy. once again, I had choices. This time, whether to sleep or to eat. N I chose... to eat!! haha.. I was being myself alrite!! but then, after that.. A moscow sister was asking me the situation over here in st pete. I told her how we muslimahs r the minorities. how programmes were held in a mixture of guys-girls. coz we r 1 society. N I was ok with tht. but the sister made me feel tht it is not ok. y?? coz we I am a Muslimah! She told me tht she used to mix around with guys too. but after the tarbiyyah started in her, she realized herself, tht as a muslimah, we have to build a boundary between us. she told me tht in my case.. it would be difficult. yeah.. engineering, with guys all around me. now I'm not trying to be an anti-guys person. Coz these guys, they r very nice, caring, polite, helpful, etc. towards me. N I appreciate it! jazakumullah. but like my naqibah said, I hv my priorities as a muslimah. so, the sister said tht I had to be strong..

A friend of mine used to say, tht she liked it when we really get along with guys. we got close and spend some time together. well, I had to say.. I liked it too. before I know that it is wrong. as in.. it is not the islamic way. astaghfirullah. As an elder friend used to say to me.. We hv to put islam high, meaning.. make it our priority. N this trip to moscow really tought me a lot. alhamdulillah X3. how can I not be grateful?? I felt like I saw somethg new, somethg sweet and pretty in being a muslimah. somehtg special, somethg unique. yeah.. but can I be like tht?? I hope so. AllahummaAmiin X3. be a gud muslimah!!