Haunted!

Assalamualaikum wbt. Dear readers. This short post is one which was inspired by a recent conversation between me and a sis who I very much love, adore and respect. May Allah bless her. AllahummaAmiin.

Me: Hmm.. I sometimes feel like erasing my past. But sadly, we're unable to do so.

Her: Allah.. InsyaAllah. If we believe tht everythg in our life is part of Allah's arrangement, we would surely feel the nikmat of being Allah's slave. We don't need to erase it. Keep it neat n tidy in our heart so tht it becomes a reminder for us.

Me: aww.. so sad..

Her: Don't be sad. InsyaAllah. When we want to do good, Allah is surely with us.

Me: Sometimes I feel tht I'm unable to change myself into being a better person. It's so difficult.

Her: InsyaAllah. We have to be optimists. Slowly. Not drastically. Tawakal but don't forget to put some efforts. Put some efforts but don't forget to doa(pray). "Man jada wajada, man zar'a hasoda"

Many of u may have the same problem as me. Haunted by my own past. Trying change, but to change is so difficult! thought once or twice of giving up. but I myself know how giving up is not an option to this problem. Alhamdulillah. I agree with this beloved fren of mine. yes. "We don't need to erase it. Keep it neat n tidy in our heart so tht it becomes a reminder for us." InsyaAllah. Wallahualam.

A Chance.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim.

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. there's somethg tonight tht makes me tip-top n ready to write on "Ordinary Eyh??". So, what's up Lydia? hmm...

My fellow readers, I've been sick lately. to be more precise.. I've been heaving headache for days. but this evening I felt a lot better. Alhamdulillah. the days had been quite dreadful I have to say: my headache worsen when I look at lamps, my laptop, tv, n of course.. I didnt even dare to read any kind of books.. and also as I always do when I get headaches.. I avoided wearing my specs.. difficult to explain my situation, but laying down on the bed didnt make me feel better. I juz hoped tht time flies so quickly tht maghrib comes n I can actually distract myself with food n take up some medicine.

Now why in the world did I tell u all of these?? to get ur attention? to complain? nope. nauzubillahiminzalik.

juz to share with u.. the dreadful days made me sigh the big sigh which says, "Why Allah, do u give me such sickness?? now I cant do anythg. I so wanna distract myself from all of these.. but I cant even watch the tv!!" Allahu Allahu Allah. Ok. I know how bad this is. to sigh. to complain. to not be a grateful person. Astaghfirullah.

but this evening things changed. Now I feel so fresh n my mind.. its clear. Alhamdulillah. N I thought.. "Lydia.. If u dont use this chance... the chance will be wasted. N guess what? there's no doubt tht the sickness will come back.. maybe tomorrow, maybe in a couple of hours.. come on Lydia, come on! This might be ur one and only chance. U hv not been a grateful person. The least u could do is to strive for it now. InsyaAllah." Come friends. being sick.. there's not much tht u can do. I'm serious. Lets make use of what we have. Lets be grateful to Allah. InsyaAllah. Alhamdulillahirabbilalamiin.

the unclear..

Assalamualaikum wbt. hey, every1. It's been quite a while eyh.. Sorry.. I've been thinking lately. I've been thinking a lot. U see.. lately, I've been asking myself on my standings (I mean, 'pendirian'). I saw how my understanding differs from what some of my friends'. N so.. I was desperately seeking for a solution to the confusion I was having. I asked a couple of close frenz abt their opinion since I believe tht I am not tht alim to be making my own hypothesis. hence, these frenz whom I trust are better than me gave me some ideas which eases my confusion. I'm not planning on telling u what I was confused of. Instead.. I would like to share with u what I figured out. So, r u ready to listen/read/pay attention to what's up next on Ordinary Eyh? haha.. but dont get ur hopes up high. It's juz a short resolution to my confusion. Here it goes..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim. u know when there are different people giving different opinions on somethg? yeah.. I was so confused on who to follow, who to trust. to trust only myself.. tht would be so wrong. I mean... who am I?? I know who I am. I am a person with nothing but weaknesses. what I now is far too itsy bitsy tiny weenie from what Allah knows. meaning... I dont know much.

But from what I understand... Islam is a complete 'deen'. I believe tht everthg is chained up together. N so.. If I am really really ikhlas in finding the truth, really really ikhlas in all of my doings.. I trust Allah. And I trust that Allah will show me the way. since everythg is chained up together... I believe tht once I got hold of part of the truth biiznillah (with Allah's permission), I will get hold of the rest too! insyaAllah. n the truth will be revealed. InsyaAllah. wAllahualam. get what I mean?? sometimes I desperately hope tht the unclear becomes clear. but now.. I think waiting is a considerable option. juz focus on being some1 ikhlas insyaAllah. N tht is my standing!! (so far.. haha..) wAllahualam. Allah knows, i dont..

Can I cry?

There were 2 events lately.. tht put me far from cloud 9. I planned on sumthg. but Allah gave me a no. N so, I put up another plan. but it seems like the answer is still no. AllahuAllahuAllahuAllah. What does this mean Ya Allah. I juz.. I juz wanna cry.. in hope tht the cry will make my heart feels better. Ya Allah, Ya Wahidul Ahad.

Bismillah Hir Rahman Nir Rahiim.

Allahumma solli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala ali saidina Muhammad.

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Allahumma solli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala ali saidina Muhammad.

Alhamdulillah. I feel better already. Thank u Allah. =)

PS: Meaning of AL-BAQI - (tidak akan musnah krn Dialah Yang Maha Kekal)

(Baca Ya Baqi 1000 kali ketika dlm kesedihan, insyaAllah perasaan itu akn hilang) WAllahualam.

Kafir

I was attending my first uskab (usrah kabilah) juz now.. It was short but very meaningful. Let me share it with u...

We did tadabbur on surah al-Kahfi (100-110). Come my fellow muslims, open up ur quran right now!!

hmm... at first we talked abt Jahannam. ok. so, jahannam is such a big horror word for those who actually realize it. I mean.. u couldnt even imagine such horror, such torture, terrible, terrible torture in that place. For who??? for those who are kafir. Nauzubillahiminzalik.

We learned the characteristics of the kafir. I rmber these 3 points.

1) The kafir have closed eyes and the kafir doesnt listen. Ok. What does this mean? From what I understand.. the kafir doesnt wanna accept the truth of Islam. He refuses to look at the greatness of Allah and refuses to listen to the rightful truth.

2) The kafir takes shelter from other than Allah. Example. to depend on other than Allah. when we get sick, straight to the doctor's. not to Allah. The doctor gives u recovery or Allah recovers u? Think2!! Allah of course!! the visit to the doctor's is only ur effort to heal urself. when the healing happens only biiznillah.

3) The kafir does good. charity for example. but what he does was such a wastage. maybe bacause he hopes for the respect of others or for compliments. Such a waste!! he thinks tht he does good, when Allah does not count those charity since it was not LILLAHITAALA. juz doing it for urself to get the credits is a NOkie dokie!

y is this so meaningful 2 me? because Allah is really conversating with me.

I know tht Allah gives the best for me in all situation. It's as if Allah is asking me.. Is it so difficult to accept tht Allah knows what's best for u??

I plan and plan and plan.. but Allah is the best planner. It's as if Allah is asking me.. Is it so difficult to put ur trust in Allah??

I know how important the niat is and how we humans have to deal with distractions in order to protect our niat LILLAHITAALA. yes. It's as if Allah is asking me.. What exactly do u want out of all of ur doings?? What do u want Lydia??

Oh Allah. I dont want to be kafir. I dont. nauzubillahiminzalik.

Oh Allah! Hear my du'a..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim.

Ya Allah, jgnlah Engkau biarkan pd diri kami ini dosa, kecuali Engkau telah ampuni akan dia, dan tidak ada kesusahan kecuali Engkau leraikan, tidak ada yg brhutang kecuali Engkau tolong langsaikan, tidak ada sakit kecuali Engkau sembuhkan dia, dan tidak ada kesesakan kecuali Engkau beri kesejahteraan akan dia, dan tidak ada org yg sesat kecuali Engkau beri petunjuk akan dia, tidak ada org yg susah kecuali Engkau permudahkan dia, tidak ada org yg fakir kecuali Engkau beri kekayaan akan dia, dan tidak ada org yg memohon kecuali Engkau tunaikan dia, dan tidak ada yg jauh, kecuali Engkau hampirkan dia, dan tidak ada musuh kecuali Engkau binasakan dia, tidak ada org yg berjihad kecuali Engkau menolongnya, tidak ada org yg bujang kecuali Engkau kahwinkan dia, tidak ada hajat drp hajat2 dunia dan akhirat yg Engkau redhai pdnya dan ad kebaikan bg kami, kecuali Engkau tunaikan dia, dan permudahkan dia wahai Tuhan Yg memelihara dan mentadbirkan sekalian alam.

Ya Allah ya Tuhan kami, kurniakan kami rahmat dari sisiMu, dan berilah petunjuk kpd kami dlm urusan kami dgn sgala petunjuk, Mudahkanlah urusan kami ya Allah, permudahkanlah jgn disulitkan krn Engkaulah yg Maha Memudahkan, segala yg susah adalah mudah bagiMu, ya Allah, sempurnakanlah dgn segala kebaikan, dgn rahmatMu, Ya Allah wahai Yang Paling Mengasihani drp segala yg mengasihani.

Ya Allah kuatkanlah iman kami, satukan saf-saf kami, dan kumpulkan hati2 kami di atas kecintaan kpdMu, Ya Allah Ya Karim. Kasihanilah kami Ya Allah, Kasihanilah kami Ya Rahim, Mudahkan urusan kami dan luaskan rezeki kami, dgn rahmatMu Ya Allah wahai Yang Paling Mengasihani drp segala yg mengasihani.

Ya Allah sesungguhnya Engkau mengetahui yg nampak dan yg rahsia dr kami maka terimalah keampunan kami, dan Engkau mengetahui hajat2 kami maka tunaikanlah hajat2 kami.

Ya Allah sesungguhnya Engkau mengetahui yg nampak dan yg rahsia dr kami maka terimalah keampunan kami, dan Engkau mengetahui hajat2 kami maka tunaikanlah hajat2 kami.

Ya Allah sesungguhnya Engkau mengetahui yg nampak dan yg rahsia dr kami maka terimalah keampunan kami, dan Engkau mengetahui hajat2 kami maka tunaikanlah hajat2 kami, Ya Karim Ya Allah wahai Yang Paling Mengasihani drp segala yg mengasihani.

Allahumma Amiin. Allahumma Amiin. Allahumma Amiin.

Selawat atas junjungan kami Rasulullah saw.

Walhamdulillahirabbilalamiin.

K.I.D.S.

Kids. observe them. Many things can be learnt from them. For example. I went to this one place. A place where the young ones spend their time learning how to read the quran n memorizing it also. So.. I saw these small children. U know how their life goes? If they go to school in the evening, they spend the whole morning learning the quran. N of course, if they go to school in the morning, they spend the whole evening at tht place. Some say tht they have no life. U think its torturing them?? Well, here's my story.

I was sitting at the side observing a couple of kids. There ware a brother n a sister. Still young. (I asked the small girl and she said tht she was only 8) So.. these small kids memorized some surahs from juz amma. impressing I say! looking at the only-8-year old girl. totally not juz a pretty n adorable face. tht is somethg to be impressed of. Alhamdulillah.

U wanna know more?? these 2 kids really enjoyed their time over there. they showed joyful faces full of spirit, eager to memorize more and more. Even in the arabic language class.. they were so eager to learn. I remembered this 1 phrase introduces to me by one of my beloved fren. It goes like this. hikmatu syuyukh wa hamasatu syabab. It means: wisdom of the elders and spirit of the young people. These 2 composition makes a great missionary (pendakwah).

so.. dont look down towards kids!! they are young and pure-minded. I say there's something in them if u juz take ur time n observe. InsyaAllah. WAllahualam.